change is hard.

I don't do well with change. I like my ways and I like that everything should go as I have planned. My Children have taught me to relax a little and go with the flow. You can't plan for your child throwing up in the middle of the night, or needing to use the bathroom the minute you get settled in to watch a play at the local high school. I thought I would get worse as I get older, and in many ways this is true. Whenever I am not in control then I have anxiety or I get in a stupor and then I am not progressing anywhere. I am realizing I can't have control all the time. I don't think I have to run everything all the time, in fact I like it when someone else is in charge. I just want to know what to expect and what is expected of me. Heavenly Father knows me so well. When I was pregnant with my children I could not stand the thought of knowing when they would come. I got a date in my head and that is the date they came. Except for Kaileen. I don't think I listened when it came to her. I was wanting her so much earlier then when she finally did arrive. Anyway, I am learning to listen and to just go with the flow and try not to get so worked up over things. I have a long ways to go. I just like my own little world and feel comfy in knowing I know what is going on. Life is crazy and my world doesn't seem so crazy when I know what is happening. I started this post back in September and am just finishing it in February and it still rings true for me today. Gosh life is amazing. Anyway, I don't enjoy change but realize that life is about change, so here I go, change away. I am ready for life, I am ready for change. Hope you are also.