Steps, steps, steps!

We needed a shed to make room for more of our stuff. Actually, we have stored all our camping supplies and summer toys inside the storage room that I want to have full of our food storage. So we decided to put up another shed outside, to hold all the stuff we have inside, because we have no room in the other shed outside. First Dad and the boys began. They pulled everything out of the boxes and got ready to go. They began! But, they got one wall up and was going on to the next, when they found out they were missing a piece(a vital wall piece)and a piece was broken. So being that it was a weekend and the company was not open, we had to put it all away till I could call the company and request them to ship us the missing and broken part. So the day I wanted to have a shed put up and filled so that I could organize the food room was messed up. Then when the parts came a few days later. Nathan, Aaron and I were trying to put up the shed, along with our neighbor who loves to help. I soon left when the instruction booklet was found to be wrong on several occasions. I left it up to the Men to figure it out. Finally it is mostly done and Aaron comes up with a little piece from a bag and wants to figure out where it belonged. Belonged? Well it actually belonged up on the very top. About 12 steps from where they were. I think Nathan wanted to kill his younger brother. Nathan had to take the roof off again and rebuild the roof with the little top thing put in it's rightful place. I tell this story because, When I asked how it was going, Nathan said "Mom, we are taking two steps forward and one step back". Later when something else occurred I thought to myself the same thing. In life sometimes we tend to do that. Take two steps forward and one step back. If the boys had given up and stayed on one of the "backward" steps then I wouldn't have a shed. On our path through this life our decisions sometimes make us have to take a step backwards in order to move forward. After a decision I made turned out bad, my wonderful husband told me to look at it, as if I had just taken a college 101 course. I needed to learn from it and do better. So here I am embarking on new paths and trying to do better. I pray that all my endeavors lead me on the right path, or I will just take two steps back and find a new one. I am grateful to a Loving Heavenly Father for giving us the opportunity to do so. Through Christ's Atonement we can make mistakes and fall to the wayside and still get up and make it back to our Father in Heaven.

Circles continue!

When I said I was thinking about all the different circles in our life, I was not kidding. I have been pondering the "Circle of a Mother's reach" or who gets the hugs from who, who needs me the most, for some time now. My son Nathan turned 18 and it really made me wonder about the relationship he and I have and what we will have for the rest of our time here on earth. I have noticed that I tend to pull away physically and emotionally from my children as they reach the teen times. In the past I figured that it was their life and I needed to let them learn to deal with it on their own. I thought that I had given them all I can and they either except it or face the consequences. I want to be available to them, to talk about their choices and their life's mission. If I pull away from them emotionally, they wont want to come to me in times of need, because they will feel no attachment. If I pull away physically then they get no "pats on the back saying, hey life is crazy but, I love you anyway." I always thought we were supposed to start our life on our own, sever the ties from our parents. How did these feelings come about? When I was growing up, I remember pulling away from my family because they drove me nuts. I wanted things just a certain way and it was not the way it was. It was not a bad life. I see that my growing up years were rather great. I just had different ideas and I remember thinking "oh! I cant wait to have my own life." As we get into early adulthood We may have, what we believe to be "new" ideas or a "better" way to go about them but it is the same. I now believe that our teens and young adults need us at this time in their life, just as much as they needed us before. My "big" kids need just as much hugs as the little ones do, sometimes even more. My "big" kids need to know that I care about them for the individuals that they are and in who they are trying to become. I just need to let them initiate the conversations more and the hugs need to be initiated by me. Which is just the opposite I was thinking. They get to be the talkers and I get to listen. I get to give a hug even if they don't have a boo boo. I wonder if other Moms think this way also or am I just a slow learner? My "circle of reach" needs to include my teens as well as my young ones. I am determined to hug them more and love them for who they are, even if they are not choosing the way I would or if they are not "just like me". I know that eventually the circle will come around and their children will think they are weird and will not want to be near them either. I love the "Circle of My Mother's reach". I still need her hugs. I still like it when she tells me I am doing great, or even if she tells me to work on something. I like to ask for her opinion on things. I wish we had talked more when I was younger, it is my pulling away from her that didn't allow us to. I realize now that things would have been different. We have made up for lost hugs and conversation in the past years. Many days I wish she could reach me from her house, a phone call has to do nowadays. I want my children to wish for the same. The circle of a Mother's reach never runs out of length.